Monday, August 17, 2009


I don't think claiming that I have a "bad case of the Mondays" even begins to describe this day. Sometimes I have dreams where horrible things happen and I will myself to open my eyes and shoot up really quickly, take a long look at my surroundings and make sure that I am, in face, awake. Unfortunately today is not a bad dream, it is a bad reality. I don't what's going on with me... obviously the lack of medicine is screwing with me; but perhaps it also has to do with the fact that I don't really eat anymore--- actually no, I do eat but one of the side effects of not being on my medicine and "withdrawing" from it, so to speak, is nausea. And well, usually when I eat I end up throwing most of it up.
But realistically, that has its benefits (hehehe).

So yeah, I have spent the day feeling crappy for being a bad girlfriend. The morning argument began with both of us having a point and quickly disintegrated into me being a total bitch -face.
Its one of those days where I want to crawl into a hole and not come out until sunrise; hopefully by then my evil attitude will have diminished. It just whomps because Mike is a nice guy... a really nice guy in fact, but we tend to handle things differently and that can make for crap-tastic arguments.

I hate fighting. I really do.
But how in the world is one supposed to prove that, when all they do is get stressed out and almost explode.


I wish I were a shark or an EEL and I could swim far away from my bad attitude and all of the negative things that bring it on...

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